Your Common App essay is your chance to make your application stand out—but what exactly makes a college essay work? In this post, we’ve compiled 10 Common App essay examples—five that truly shine and five that highlight mistakes you’ll want to avoid.

These examples serve as a practical guide for students who want to understand what a compelling, authentic, and well-crafted essay looks like—as well as what not to do. Whether you’re brainstorming your first draft or fine-tuning your final submission, this collection will help you write with more clarity, confidence, and impact.

 Table of Contents

Five Good Common App Essay Examples

1. The Unexpected Lesson in the Garden

I never imagined that tending to a small, unassuming garden behind my grandmother’s house would become the turning point in my life. As a child, I had always seen that plot simply as a place where vegetables grew—a background detail in a bustling household. But as I began to notice the quiet rhythm of the garden, I realized it was a reflection of life itself, full of surprises, resilience, and subtle reinvention.

Every summer afternoon, when the humid air was softened by the gentle rustling of leaves, I found solace among the rows of marigolds and tomatoes. My grandmother, with her weathered hands and quiet wisdom, would guide me through the intricacies of nurturing life. “Each plant has its own way of surviving, just like you,” she would say, gently patting the soil. Initially, these sessions were mere chores, but soon they evolved into lessons on patience, care, and the beauty of gradual change.

During one particularly unforgiving summer, the garden faced a relentless drought. The once vibrant greens began to fade, and I watched in dismay as the earth cracked under the hot sun. I felt an overwhelming sense of failure, internalizing the garden’s struggle as a personal shortcoming. Yet, my grandmother’s calm resolve changed everything. “The garden isn’t lost until we give up on it,” she reminded me, and together we devised a plan: we conserved water, mulched the soil, and tended to every plant with newfound determination.

As the days passed, tiny shoots emerged resiliently from the barren ground. Witnessing that quiet rebirth, I learned that setbacks are not endpoints but rather invitations to persevere and innovate. That garden taught me that the essence of growth lies in embracing adversity with hope and creativity. Slowly, I began to view my own challenges—from a difficult school project to conflicts with friends—in the same light. I understood that failure was not defeat, but rather a call to adjust my approach and try again.

Over the years, the garden continued to transform alongside me. When I felt lost or overwhelmed, I returned there, knowing that the earth had a way of reflecting my internal landscape. During those moments, I would kneel among the blossoms, feeling the warmth of the soil and the quiet pulse of life around me. I came to appreciate that every small success—a bud opening in time, a leaf that recovered its color—was a testament to perseverance. It was in that natural classroom that I learned the true meaning of resilience: that beauty and strength often emerge through nurturing even when the odds seem insurmountable.

Today, as I stand on the threshold of new beginnings, I carry the garden’s lessons with me. I approach my future not with the fear of failure, but with an understanding that change is a constant process and every setback is a precursor to growth. The garden was never just a piece of land; it became my personal mosaic of trial, error, and ultimate triumph. And so, with gratitude and quiet confidence, I step forward, ready to nurture every aspect of my life just as diligently as I once nurtured the fragile sprouts behind my grandmother’s house.

Summary Review

Authenticity & Personal Reflection:
The essay uses a personal and authentic narrative. It transforms a simple garden into a metaphor for personal growth, making the experience feel unique and relatable.

Narrative Structure & Depth:
It tells a complete story with a clear beginning, challenge, and resolution. The writer intertwines personal lessons with vivid descriptions of the environment and interactions with a mentor (grandmother).

Engaging & Honest Voice:
The voice remains natural and honest throughout, avoiding clichéd or overly polished language. The reflections are detailed and show genuine transformation rather than simply listing achievements.

Strong Conclusion:
The final paragraphs tie the themes together and illustrate how the lessons learned will be applied in the future, creating a memorable and impactful ending.

2. Overcoming the Odds

As the chill of winter seeped into every corner of my life, I was haunted by a constant, nagging sense of failure. For years, I viewed my mistakes as irrevocable shortcomings, believing that every misstep built an unchangeable barrier to my success. That belief was profoundly challenged one fateful December.

A violent storm descended upon our small town without warning. In its ruthless wake, the community center—a cherished place where neighbors gathered to share laughter and support—was left battered, with shattered windows and walls that threatened to collapse. Standing before the wreckage, I felt both sorrow and an unexpected stirring of determination. It struck me then that, perhaps, the path to overcoming my internal struggles lay in the act of rebuilding not only something broken but my very own self-worth.

Joining a ragtag team of volunteers, I dove headfirst into the grueling task of restoration. Amid biting winds and relentless cold, I learned to wield a hammer as if it were an extension of my own resolve. Each shattered brick we set in place, each layer of new plaster, became a metaphor for the parts of me that needed mending. I discovered that my perceived failures weren’t seals on my potential; they were lessons in disguise. As our team labored side by side, each encouraging remark and shared smile kindled a subtle shift in my perspective.

I recall a moment when, during a brief pause in the work, an older volunteer looked me in the eye and said, “We rebuild not only what’s fallen apart around us but also what we thought was lost within.” Those words ignited a spark—a realization that every setback was an opportunity to start anew, every broken piece a chance to discover a hidden strength. Slowly, the process of reconstruction morphed into a journey of internal recovery.

By the time winter gave way to spring, the community center stood restored, a resilient symbol of our collective determination. More importantly, I had rebuilt my understanding of who I could become. I moved on from that experience with not just a renewed community space, but a transformed sense of self. I began to see failure as a necessary stepping stone, as valuable as any success in shaping my future.

Today, I approach life with a cautious optimism forged from those harsh winter days. The storm, once a terrifying force, now stands as a reminder that even in moments of devastation, there is an opportunity to rise, rebuild, and redefine. My scars have become my strength, and every challenge is a fresh canvas on which to paint my resilience.

Summary Review

Authenticity & Vulnerability:
The essay candidly explores personal self-doubt and internal struggles, making the narrative genuine and relatable.

Narrative Arc & Clarity:
Beginning with a personal crisis, the essay details the turning point sparked by a community disaster, and leads to a powerful resolution of renewed self-worth.

Reflective Depth:
It delves into insights gained from the experience, showing how rebuilding the community center symbolized overcoming personal setbacks.

Impactful Conclusion:
The ending ties together the lessons learned, affirming that challenges are opportunities for growth, which leaves the reader with a lasting impression of resilience and hope.

3. The Spark of Curiosity

Late one autumn evening, when the sky dazzled with a cascade of stars, I found myself drawn to the attic of my childhood home. It was there, amidst a jumble of forgotten belongings, that I discovered an old telescope—its brass fittings tarnished by time yet still exuding quiet promise. I carried it outside into the cool night, my heart pounding with anticipation. That moment, when I peered through the lens for the first time, felt like an invitation to a secret universe that had always been just beyond reach.

For years, I had taken the predictable rhythm of everyday life for granted. School lessons, routine chores, and idle afternoons passed without sparking any real excitement. But as I adjusted the telescope, aligning it with a particularly bright star, something extraordinary happened: the cosmos came alive before my eyes. Constellations once relegated to the pages of textbooks now danced across the heavens, their stories unfolding in luminous detail. In that instant, I was no longer a passive observer—I was an explorer of endless possibility.

The experience ignited a flame of curiosity that led me to devour books on astronomy and astrophysics. I began to question not only the mechanics of the stars but also the profound purpose behind our own existence. Long nights were spent at the library and in front of my computer, piecing together the works of scientists who had dared to ask the big questions. Each discovery felt like a key unlocking a new room in the mansion of knowledge. As my interest deepened, I started to see patterns in the chaos of data, finding beauty in scientific theories that explained the mysteries of the universe.

Yet, what made this journey truly transformative was not merely the acquisition of facts—it was the evolution of my perspective. I began to appreciate that curiosity is not just a fleeting spark, but a driving force that propels us to challenge the status quo. It taught me the value of inquiry, the courage to question even what seems obvious, and the resilience needed to embrace uncertainty. In the quiet moments after my nightly observations, I would sit back and reflect on the connections between the cosmos and the human experience, realizing that every pursuit of knowledge was a step toward understanding ourselves a little better.

My growing passion for astronomy soon spilled into my academic life. I participated in science fairs, organized stargazing events at school, and even led a community project that built a modest observatory for local youth. Through these endeavors, I discovered that my personal journey was not isolated; it resonated with others who, like me, sought answers beyond the everyday. I learned that when curiosity is shared, it can inspire collective wonder and open doors for collaboration in unexpected ways.

Now, as I stand on the threshold of new academic challenges, that first magical night continues to illuminate my path. The telescope, with its aged yet steadfast lens, remains a cherished symbol of a turning point in my life—a reminder that questions lead to discovery, and discovery paves the way for transformation. Every time I gaze upward at the boundless sky, I see not just celestial bodies, but a reflection of my endless potential to explore, learn, and grow.

Summary Review

Genuine Personal Connection:
The essay opens with a vivid and evocative scene of discovering an old telescope, establishing a personal and authentic connection with the reader.

Clear Narrative Arc:
It presents a well-defined progression—from a mundane life to an awakening of curiosity, and finally to concrete actions (joining science fairs, organizing events) that underscore personal growth.

Reflective Depth:
The narrative goes beyond description by connecting scientific discovery with internal growth and philosophical insights, reinforcing the impact of curiosity on the writer’s worldview.

Cohesive and Impactful Conclusion:
The closing paragraphs tie the experience to future ambitions and lasting inspiration, leaving the reader with an impression of resilience, passion, and the transformative power of inquiry.

4. Family Stories and Traditions

Every evening at our dinner table, when the last rays of sunlight faded and the aroma of my grandmother’s special stew filled the room, time seemed to slow. It wasn’t just a meal—it was a nightly ritual where our family’s stories, traditions, and values came alive. Seated around the table, with laughter mingling with whispered remembrances, I began to understand that each story was a thread in the fabric of our identity.

I vividly recall one evening when my grandmother, with her gentle smile and eyes that held decades of experience, began a story about her childhood during a time of hardship. In a soft, almost musical tone, she recounted how the family persevered during a particularly difficult winter when food was scarce and hope was in short supply. Her voice wove together moments of sorrow, resilience, and ultimately, triumph. As I listened, every word resonated within me, instilling a deep sense of pride and a newfound appreciation for the sacrifices that had paved the way for our present. That night, I realized that my heritage was not just a series of dates and events; it was a living, breathing legacy of courage and perseverance.

These conversations were not confined to the evenings alone. They found their way into my daily life, subtly shaping my values and decisions. I began to see challenges in a different light: as opportunities to draw upon the strength embedded in our family’s history. Whether it was a school project that tested my limits or a personal setback, I would often recall my grandmother’s words and the determination of those who had come before me. Her stories taught me that even in the face of adversity, there is beauty and growth to be found in every struggle.

One particular tradition that has always held special meaning for me is the annual family reunion held every summer. This event brought together cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents for days filled with spirited debates, shared laughter, and the retelling of old tales. Amidst the joyful chaos, I found that the reunion served as a tangible reminder of the enduring bonds that transcend time and distance. It was during these reunions that I learned the value of community and the importance of nurturing relationships that support and uplift us during both triumphs and trials.

As I matured, I began to document these stories, recording snippets of conversation and handwritten notes from old letters and family diaries. What started as a personal project soon evolved into a passion for understanding the legacy of my ancestry. I volunteered to help organize a local heritage exhibit at our town museum, where I shared these narratives with a wider audience. This experience not only reinforced my commitment to preserving our family history, but also deepened my understanding of the universal themes of resilience, love, and continuity that connect us all.

Standing on the threshold of adulthood, I carry these enduring stories as both a shield and a beacon—a reminder of where I come from and the strength I can draw upon for where I wish to go. My family’s traditions have taught me that every moment, every shared meal, and every recollected tale is an opportunity to honor the past while inspiring the future. It is the silent echo of laughter around the dinner table, the comforting cadence of a grandmother’s voice, and the collective memory of generations that prepares me to face the world with empathy, determination, and an unwavering sense of identity.

In every challenge I face and every achievement I celebrate, I find traces of those long-told stories. They are my compass, guiding my decisions and fueling my dreams. And so, with each new day, I strive not only to honor these traditions, but also to add my own chapter—one that, someday, my children may cherish at their own family table.

Summary Review

Genuine Connection to Heritage:
The essay vividly captures the intimate moments shared at the family dinner table, making it feel authentic and heartwarming.

Strong Narrative Arc:
It begins with a clear setting and builds through personal anecdotes, such as the grandmother’s recollections and the annual family reunion, leading to a reflective, forward-looking conclusion.

Depth and Reflection:
The essay goes beyond recounting family traditions by exploring how these stories have impacted the writer’s values, resilience, and approach to life.

Cohesive and Impactful Conclusion:
The final paragraphs tie together the importance of tradition with personal growth, leaving the reader with a strong sense of identity and continuity.

This essay excels by intertwining personal history with meaningful lessons, presenting a vivid depiction of how family traditions can shape one’s character and outlook, all while maintaining an engaging and sincere narrative voice.

5. Finding My Voice in Silence

I had always been known as the quiet one—the silent observer in rooms filled with vibrant chatter. In school, at family gatherings, and even among friends, my words seemed to hide behind a veil of uncertainty. I never believed that my soft-spoken thoughts mattered until I was gently pushed to share them with the world.

My turning point came during a school project that required me to present my ideas in front of a large audience. Standing at the podium, my heart pounded as I stared out at the expectant faces. I remembered a piece of advice from a teacher who said that true strength comes from embracing your vulnerabilities. Summoning every ounce of courage, I began to speak—not in a rehearsed monotone, but in the honest tones of my unpolished self. My voice wavered at first, but as I continued, I started to feel a subtle surge of confidence.

After that experience, I embarked on a personal journey to nurture my inner voice. I turned to writing, filling journals with my thoughts, dreams, and reflections on life’s quiet moments. Late at night, when the world around me was hushed, I discovered that putting my feelings into words gave them clarity and purpose. My writings became a safe space where I could explore my identity, piece by piece, until I was ready to share them beyond the pages of my notebook.

Slowly, my willingness to speak out grew. I joined a local community group where diverse voices shared their life stories. Each conversation, each shared piece of vulnerability, chipped away at the old notion that silence was a flaw. Instead, I learned that embracing my unique way of communicating—deliberate, thoughtful, and sometimes quiet—was actually my greatest strength. The more I shared, the more I realized that authenticity resonates far more deeply than any rehearsed speech ever could.

Now, as I reflect on my evolution from a timid observer to someone who confidently expresses her thoughts, I understand that silence was never about a lack of voice. It was about finding the right moments to speak and knowing that even gentle whispers can inspire powerful change. I carry this truth with me every day, ready to use my voice to spark conversation, foster understanding, and help others believe that their inner world matters.

Summary Review

Authentic Vulnerability:
The essay transforms a personal struggle with silence into a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. The writer’s vulnerability is showcased as a strength, allowing for a genuine connection with the reader.

Clear Narrative Arc:
Beginning with a depiction of habitual silence, the essay moves through a challenging public speaking experience and a subsequent journey of self-expression through writing. This progression effectively highlights the turning point and personal growth.

Deep Personal Reflection:
The narrative delves into introspection, detailing how the act of writing and community engagement helped the writer embrace her unique voice.

Impactful Conclusion:
The ending ties the experiences together by celebrating the power of authenticity and subtle expression, leaving the reader with a resonant message about the strength found in vulnerability.

And now, the five bad common app essay examples.

5 Bad Common App Essay Examples

1. What I Think You Want to Hear

Since I can remember, I have always been a top performer. Throughout my academic journey, I made sure that every decision I made aligned perfectly with my ambition to excel in every area of my life. My high grades, leadership in clubs, and sports achievements clearly demonstrate that I am an ideal candidate for any college.

I have volunteered at multiple prestigious organizations, won several awards in academic competitions, and maintained a perfect 4.0 GPA throughout high school. I served as the president of the debate club, captain of the soccer team, and an active participant in community service projects. Each of these experiences has been carefully chosen to build the impeccable portfolio that will surely impress admissions officers.

In every classroom discussion and extracurricular activity, I have consistently strived to perform at the highest level. I take pride in my ability to balance a rigorous academic schedule with leadership roles and extensive volunteer work. My daily routine is structured around excellence, and every achievement is a stepping stone toward my future success.

I understand that colleges want students who will contribute to their academic community, and I have already laid the foundation for that. My accomplishments reflect my dedication, discipline, and passion for continual self-improvement. I have always planned my activities to ensure that I meet the high expectations of my teachers, coaches, and mentors, and I believe that my track record speaks for itself.

As I prepare to take the next step in my education, I remain committed to excellence in every way possible. I know that the qualities that have defined my high school career—my diligence, leadership, and commitment—will continue to shine in college. I am not only ready to contribute to your campus community; I am eager to set new records and achieve even greater heights. I hope that by reviewing my achievements, you will see the unmistakable potential for success that I bring with me.

Summary Review

Overemphasis on Achievements:
Rather than sharing a personal story or revealing unique insights, this essay is dominated by a list of accomplishments, leaving little room for reflection or a genuine narrative.

Generic and Formulaic Tone:
The language used is cliché and overly polished, aimed at telling admissions officers exactly what they want to hear rather than showcasing the writer’s true personality.

Lack of Personal Insight:
The essay fails to provide context for the achievements or explain how these experiences led to personal growth. There is no clear turning point or reflective moment that illustrates a deeper understanding of self.

Impersonal and Self-Promotional:
The writing focuses on constructing an ideal candidate profile rather than offering a sincere glimpse into the applicant’s life. This approach makes the essay come off as contrived and superficial.

2. The Resume List

Ever since elementary school, I have consistently proven myself in every academic and extracurricular activity available. I have always striven to be the best, and my high school years are a testament to that drive. I have earned a 4.0 GPA every semester, achieved perfect scores in standardized tests, and received awards in every subject.

I served as the president of the debate club, where I led several national victories. I was also the captain of the soccer team, a position I held for three years, during which our team won consecutive district championships. Furthermore, I have a long list of volunteer credits—from tutoring at local community centers to organizing fundraising events for various charities. All of these accomplishments demonstrate my passion for leadership and my commitment to excellence.

Throughout my high school career, I have also participated in multiple academic competitions. I was awarded first place in the regional science fair, and I have represented my school in several state-level math contests. I actively took part in clubs such as the Model United Nations, where I honed my skills in public speaking and diplomacy. Every activity I engaged in further built the resume that I proudly display today.

In addition to my extracurricular pursuits, I have consistently demonstrated a strong work ethic in the classroom. I routinely achieved top marks, participated actively in class discussions, and received numerous commendations from my teachers for my dedication and attention to detail. I believe that these academic achievements set me apart from other applicants who may not have demonstrated the same level of commitment or intellectual discipline.

All of these experiences have culminated in a well-rounded profile that makes me an ideal candidate for any college. I trust that by examining my extensive list of accomplishments, you will recognize my determination, hard work, and potential for future success. My achievements not only define who I am but also underline the promise of what I can contribute to your academic community. I look forward to the opportunity to further develop my skills and to continue excelling in every area of my life.

Summary Review

Overemphasis on Achievements:
The essay relies heavily on listing accomplishments, without offering any insight into personal growth or individual experiences.

Lack of Narrative Structure:
Instead of telling a cohesive story, it reads as a chronological resume that doesn’t reveal how the applicant evolved or learned from these experiences.

Insufficient Reflection:
The essay provides minimal context or explanation regarding what each achievement meant on a personal level, missing the opportunity to showcase a unique voice or perspective.

Impulsive and Formulaic Tone:
It aims to impress by featuring an impressive list of accolades but ends up sounding impersonal and overly rehearsed.

3. My Incredible Mentor

From an early age, I have always looked up to my mentor, Dr. Awesome. His brilliance and impeccable character have shaped every decision I’ve made throughout high school. Dr. Awesome isn’t just a teacher—he is a guiding light whose every word and action serve as the standard by which I measure my own achievements.

Every academic venture I undertook was under his influence. In our long conversations about advanced theories and innovative ideas, I learned that excellence isn’t just an aspiration—it’s a way of life. Following his advice, I participated in science fairs, debate competitions, and volunteer programs, all of which were successes largely due to his guidance. Without him, I would have been lost in a sea of uncertainty.

I spent many hours shadowing him at community events, eagerly absorbing every bit of wisdom he shared. His mentorship was so influential that I often mimic his speech, his thought patterns, and even his style of dress. I know that my achievements are a direct reflection of his teachings. Every medal, every certificate, and every accolade I have earned is due to the profound imprint he has left on my life.

Because of Dr. Awesome, I have not only excelled academically but have developed what others describe as a visionary outlook. His influence is in every decision I make, and I am constantly striving to live up to his example. I firmly believe that by following his lead, I am destined to achieve greatness and bring honor to both my own name and his legacy. In every opportunity that comes my way, I see the potential to further reflect his brilliance, ensuring that his teachings continue to shine through every accomplishment of mine.

Summary Review

Overemphasis on the Mentor:
The essay is dominated by extended praise for Dr. Awesome, leaving little room to explore the applicant’s personal experiences or growth.

Lack of Self-Reflection:
The narrative centers on external influence rather than on the applicant’s own challenges, reflections, or independent accomplishments.

Imbalance of Focus:
By dedicating almost all content to the mentor’s influence, the essay misses the opportunity to showcase the applicant’s unique voice and individuality.

Dependency Rather Than Self-Discovery:
The writing suggests that the applicant’s achievements are largely derivative of someone else’s guidance, which weakens the portrayal of a strong, self-reliant character.

4. My Summer Mission Trip

I went on a mission trip last summer and it was like, totally life-changing in ways that i never could have imagined. It all started when i decided that i wanted to help people and do something meaningful with my life so i joined a group of teens and teachers on a mission trip to a rural village in an impoverished part of the world. The trip was amazing and i cant even begin to explain how every moment was filled with endless opportunities to learn and grow in spirit, heart, and mind. Everything was so incredible, and i believe that if more people understood the true value of helping others, they too would get a chance to experience this journey of a lifetime.

During our mission trip, we stayed in a small, overcrowded community center that barely had enough space for all of us. The building was falling apart and the conditions werent perfect but that only made the experience more real and raw. I spent my days walking barefoot along dusty roads, helping build new shelters, and distributing food supplies that we brought from home. Every moment was a reminder of how fortunate we are and how much work needs to be done to help others in need. I did a lot of volunteering tasks, like painting walls, cleaning streets, and tutoring local children in English and math. I know that some might think that this sounds like a stereotypical mission trip, and maybe it is but i truly beleive that these experiences are what define a person.

I learned so much from the local people, who taught me the meaning of perseverance, humility, and even hope. One unforgettable day, i helped an elderly woman carry water from a well for hours, and during that time we shared so many stories that really opened my eyes to the struggles and triumphs of her community. It was a very intense experience and i realized that sometimes sacrifice and hard work aren’t just words but real life experiences that change your point of view. I was overwhelmed by the love and gratitude that the people there showed despite their hardship, and i felt that i was being spiritually recharged as well as academically enriched by living through these challenges.

I cant stress enough how this trip changed my life. Every single day i was confronted with different challenges that forced me to step out of my comfort zone and discover a strength i didnt know i had. I also learned the value of empathy and kindness, something that every person should experience at least once in their lifetime. Although i know that writing about mission trips might sound cliché to many readers, i truly believe that these experiences have deeply influenced the kind of person i am today. Despite the difficulties faced during that trip, i was uplifted by the sense of purpose and the unity that came from working together for a common cause.

In conclusion, i want every college admissions officer to know that i have been profoundly transformed by my mission trip. The hardships, the laughter, and even the tears have all contributed to a new understanding of life that i carry with me every day. I hope that my passion for helping others and my commitment to making a difference in the world can shine through in everything i do, even if my words might sometimes sound repetitive or overly idealistic. This experience, like so many others on the trip, was a reminder that despite the imperfections in the world, there is always hope and always room for change. I will forever be grateful for that mission trip and the irreplaceable lessons i learned there which will continue to influence my future actions and decisions as i try to make the world a better place.

Summary Review

Overly Lengthy & Redundant:
The essay is excessively long and repetitive, often reiterating the same sentiment in multiple ways without adding depth.

Typographical and Grammatical Errors:
Frequent typos (e.g., “werent,” “cant,” “beleive”) and informal language undermine the overall professionalism of the writing.

Clichéd Narrative & Lack of Unique Insight:
The theme of the mission trip is overused and presented in a generic manner, failing to offer any fresh perspective or deep personal reflection.

Excessive Detail Without Purpose:
The narrative includes unnecessary details that do not contribute meaningful insight into personal growth, making the piece feel unfocused.

5. My Life, My Journey: A First Draft

When i first started thinking about my life i decided i should write it all down cause i wanted to show how awesome i am. But, honestly, i know this isn’t the best version because i didnt have time to edit it properly. i just wrote everything that came to mind in one long go, and now it shows in every messy line.

I grew up in a small town where every day felt the same and nothing really happened until one day, when suddenly, i experienced a bunch of stuff that i felt was important. I did some sports, joined clubs, and even had times where i lost friends, which made me feel really down. There were days when i won contests and other days when i didnt know what to do with my life. I mean, i have a lot of different memories, some good and some bad, and i decided to put them all here without filtering much because i wanted to be genuine—even if i wasnt completely clear.

This essay, as it stands, is just a raw reflection of my thoughts. Its unedited nature shows that i havent proofread it, so there are plenty of errors, like spelling mistakes, typos, and sentences that dont flow well. i didnt take the time to revise or fix my grammar because i was in a rush and i wanted to capture the immediacy of my feelings. Some parts of it might feel repetitive or off-topic, but thats just how my head works sometimes.

College admissions officers are supposed to get a real look at who i am, so i thought letting them see my first draft might be honest. I did lots of things in high school—from being part of different clubs to competing in school events—but i wasnt sure how to tie them all together in a neat story, so i just wrote down everything as it came. Sometimes i jump from one topic to the next without clear connections, and i even notice that i mention stuff like how much i love hanging out with friends and how i sometimes struggle with my studies, all in the same breath. It might seem a bit all over the place, and it is.

I realize now that a final draft should be much more focused, with smoother transitions and a clear narrative that shows personal growth. Instead, this essay rambles on about random experiences without really digging into the meaning behind them. The messy structure, casual tone, and numerous typos (like “i” instead of “I” everywhere) only make it harder to follow my real message. I know i need to go back, rewrite, and polish this text until it truly represents who i am and what i have learned, but this is exactly what happens when you submit a first draft without enough revisions.

In conclusion, this first draft is a candid and raw expression of my thoughts at the time i wrote it. Though it’s rough around the edges, and lacking in clarity and focus, it’s an honest snapshot of where i was. With more time, i would undoubtedly refine it to better showcase my personality and experiences. For now, however, it stands as an example of why careful revision, proofing, and thoughtful structure are essential before submission.

Summary Review

Unrefined and Unedited:
The essay clearly shows it is a first draft, with rough transitions, fragmented ideas, and a lack of cohesive narrative structure. The content is scattered, reflecting an unorganized thought process.

Numerous Typos and Grammatical Errors:
The use of casual language, repeated typographical mistakes (e.g., “i” instead of “I”), and inconsistent punctuation distract from the intended message and undermine professionalism.

Overly Casual and Rambling Tone:
The narrative is too informal and meandering, lacking a central theme or clear storyline. It fails to focus on meaningful personal growth, making the overall message hard to follow.

Lack of Clear Structure and Purpose:
Instead of a refined story that builds toward a transformative insight, the essay drifts between disconnected thoughts, highlighting the pitfalls of submitting a first draft without thorough revision.

The strongest essays above share one thing: they focus on you—your voice, your growth, your insight.

✅ They’re specific, honest, and structured with care.
❌ The weaker essays? They rely on generalizations, clichés, or safe storytelling that misses the mark.

🎯 The lesson? You don’t need to be extraordinary—you just need to be authentic.

✍️ Need Help With Your Common App Essay?

At Cram Support, we can help you:

• ✨ Turn your ideas into a powerful, original essay
• ✍️ Write a plagiarism-free Common App essay from scratch
• 🛠 Edit and polish your draft to perfection
• 🔄 Get feedback, revisions, and formatting help

👉 Place an Order Now or email hello@cramsupport.com to get started.